Who is your Elizabeth?

(A sermon to the women’s group 14^th Dec 2020)

A little while back Someone came to my door, I could instantly tell that she was really angry and cross and mad and I thought I’m not letting you into the house, if you’re going to tear me off a strip then fine lets do this outside. So I stepped out into the road and she verbally went at me. Gosh was she angry. After about 30seconds I realised that she wasn’t angry at me, she was mad at her husband’s boss who had just cancelled his holiday. Their holiday. After 2 minutes she paused for breath and I said You feeling any better?

A teenager said to me: I have a new boyfriend! I said That’s nice, what’s he like? She said Oh you wouldn’t like him, he smokes and he drinks and he swears a lot.

And I thought What an interesting way to describe someone, in the negative. What you’ve done there is made presumptions about my prejudices. Maybe it’s because I’m Old. You know of course that to a teenager anyone over the age of 30 is just old. Maybe its because I’m a vicar. And you presume that I have these prejudices.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at her defensiveness. The Church has a long track record of not being very good with Women.

But look at Jesus – how he speaks to the Woman at the Well, how he reaches out with compassion to the Widow in the village of Nain, how he goads and teases a mum from Tyre and Sidon (even the dogs will eat the crumbs that fall from the masters table). Think of the women that closely followed him – it wasn’t just 12 blokes there was quite the entourage. And they, to some extent, funded him, them.

Think of the old woman who is shrivelling up with internal bleeding and with embarrassment but who clutches at Jesus’ robes, how he sends her away in peace and wholeness, and of the little girl he restores from death. And of Peter’s Mother in Law, and the sisters Mary and Martha – and how he copes with being the centre of their sisterly disputes and with being the focus of their sorrow when their brother dies.

I bet you’ll think of others. Why was Jesus so good at listening, in being with, I was going to say People but lets keep it focussed, with women? Two answers – well he was God, he understood better than any of us how we are all made in the image of God, he saw the image of God in the people he spoke to. Nothing wrong with that answer.

But the other answer is he had a remarkable Mum. There’s a good chapter on Mary in the Advent book Walking Backwards to Christmas, and there’s some good art in the ‘Art through Advent’. Mary gets painted over in formaldehyde too early on that it becomes difficult for us to see the strength of character that she must have had to endure and go through what she went through.

I love this scene. Mary is just beginning to show. And that’s why she’s given Joseph some space. Its not clear if Joseph knows at this point. But what is clear is that Mary needs to find a safe place to be, to speak, without interruption, without presumption, just to say what’s on her heart.

Theologians, mostly male, make the presumption that Mary bursts into her Magnificat Song because the Spirit of God comes upon her at this point. But in the bible reading you heard that it was Elizabeth who is suddenly filled with the Holy Spirit, she’s suddenly emboldened to say her bit.

I think what makes Mary explode is that she has finally found a safe place. For her this pregnancy is unbelievably exciting. It is also unfathomably scary – what will Mary’s parents think? What will society say? What will Joseph think? How on earth can she be a mum to this gift of a child? All of these voices in her head are heaping up the pressure on Mary – but suddenly there’s this moment with cousin Elizabeth – where she gives herself permission to say out loud stuff that she has been holding in. And what she says is Oh my gosh this is so amazing and God is so good.

Now ok, that’s not how everyone reacts to being pregnant. But I’d like you to hear the pressure that is pushing down on Mary, and I’d like you to see Elizabeth as the safe relief valve that allows Mary to let off steam, let off the hand break, to let rip, to be herself without having to think of how others might judge her for saying what she says.

The front page of the website of Stopover has a quote from ‘Cayleigh, a service user’. She says: “I am now able to express my emotions. Being here has taught me it’s alright to cry, be angry and want to be alone, as well as many other things. I would say to others; allow yourself to seek and accept the support you need.”

Good for Cayleigh. Good for Mary. But what about you? We each of us need a safe space where we can go and say Heretical things – like – I’ve had a horrible day, I don’t know where God is in my mess of a life and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

And just because we’re English and over 30 doesn’t mean we don’t have these sort of days. And often we don’t need advice, or interrupting or judging, we just need to be heard.  And I’m sorry if you’ve found the Church to be a poor listener. But I pray that you’ll find Jesus to be a better listener.

My prayer today is that these gifts will be a blessing to Stopover and that Stopover will be a blessing to those come to them. But also … may you find someone who will be an Elizabeth to you, who will let you just be as you express yourself. And also may you become an Elizabeth to someone else who just needs a safe space.

Amen.